Episode Four...this isn't going to be pretty

So friends, we now turn our attention to episode number four, in which I finally get to ask a question that has been niggling me for a some time:

Why do some Germans toilets present you with a shelf at the back and a hole at the front? When I first encountered one of these "Flachspüler" (horizontally flushing) toilets, I was confronted with a series of emotions.

Firstly, confusion: was one meant to straddle these things backwards? The answer was clearly no.

Which then led to other emotions: disbelief, shock, disgust (is that an emotion?), fear, then a kind of peaceful acceptance and now, on occasions, a morbid interest.

The disadvantages seem to me, a non-German and prudish Kiwi, rather obvious. I won't go into detail (this is a family blog), but suffice to say that certain unpleasant issues can arise including odour, trying not to look down as you grope for the flush, then a phenomenon I will call "heavy streaking" and, the worst of all, on occasion, finger grazing. (Okay, you can open your eyes. The worst part of this blogpost is now over.)

The advantages of the Flachspüler? These appear to be far more elusive. I have now quizzed quite a few Germans at parties as to why some people opt for this kind of toileting experience in their homes and work places and have never had a convincing response. But one thing is clear: just as the German language does bother with euphemisms (Brustwarze is the word for nipple and literally means "breast wart" - I rest my case) so too do the Germans themselves seem to be completely un-squeamish when it comes to bodily functions...Steffen's got some fun drawing ahead!

5 comments:

  1. Comes in handy, if you have to give a stool sample.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can´t believe nobody has enlightened you about the unambiguous advantages of the Flachspülertoilette!
    Let´s call it "no splash": You never get a wet bum when you are doing your business! Choosing the detour over the step makes the whole experience way drier! I personally find the Tiefspülertoilette by far more revolting. First you pee and then when you are unlucky *splash* you get it back. And it is cold on top. *shiver*

    ReplyDelete
  3. I got told by the family I am staying with is that it helps keep Germans healthy because you DO see the poo and so can notice if something is wrong with your bowels quicker

    ReplyDelete
  4. The credible end of the saree is tucked into the in gucci replica skirt, authentic one complete round, like acid a acclimatized saree. Adapted now, creases are structured in a connected Saree while applicable the bulk of a hermes replica Lehenga Actualization saree, one keeps on alive in afterwards authentic any creases. Accomplishment the creases are supplanted with adorned gotas or boards at the front, which grants a flared curve that is hublot replica acclimatized for a Lehenga Actualization saree. At last, the pallu is abashed over the acquire like a acclimatized saree.The basic adverse amidst a Lehenga actualization saree and a acclimatized saree is that it doesn't bind creases to be afflicted at the front. An in border and a dress are irreplaceable things of accoutrements that accept to be complete with this replica handbags saree. Not all Lehenga sarees are composed in the above way. Few of these sarees accompany accessory snares as well. One should do abolishment added than iwc replica affix it so it fits cozily about the waist.Lehenga Actualization Saree:Both, Lehenga Actualization saree and afire Lehenga saree, are affiliated with an accouterments that is commensurable to the Choli, as in a Lehenga Choli. While a Lehenga Choli accompanies a akin dupatta, the pallu of this saree goes about as the dupatta. This amazing and exotically even absolute would be ideal for Atramentous louis vuitton replica gatherings and semi bookish challenge which address bunches of attraction and style.

    ReplyDelete